The Mammon Philosophy

When I was young (or so much younger than today) I used to hate Maridia, the token waterlogged area in Super Metroid. I hated how its passages would crisscross each other in a confusing fashion, how the quicksand could suck you into an earlier area if you weren’t careful, how you could gain access as soon as you had a Power Bomb but then couldn’t actually get anywhere without the Gravity Suit. It was a tease and a blockade all wrapped into one lousy late-game region, and it drove me nuts.

But with time comes knowledge, and I’ve since gained an appreciation for the mysteries of the depths: its columns of wall-jump enabling grapple blocks, its unorthodox foes, its awe-inspiring Space Jump and Plasma Beam. The confusion and frustration gave way thanks to memorization, and now I’ve got a more mature outlook: I like Maridia and hate Norfair.

Okay, that’s not entirely true either. I like Norfair just fine. It’s got Hi-Jump Boots, the Grapple Hook, and the Ice and Wave Beams, and that’s not even counting the entirety of the lower region. Anyone who claims they weren’t utterly freaked out by Crocomire is a liar, and despite being rather annoying, the battle with Ridley is also somewhat epic. So yes, actually being in Norfair is great; it’s the whole business of getting in and out that’s got me riled up.

First time in: get the Boots, head back out again. It’s a momentary diversion en route to Kraid. No problem.

Second time: you bring Varia to get to the Speed Booster and Ice Beam, enabling you to get back to Crateria from Brinstar. Again, not a big deal. You can go straight back down once you’ve got the Power Bombs, or you can take the long way around and get some stuff out of the early part of the game first. Fine, that’s a player decision, but eventually you’ve got to bring your newfangled explosives back down to Norfair for your…

Third visit: whereupon you collect the Grapple Hook (which is really also a “beam,” I guess.) Starting to get a little annoying having to traverse that same stupid length of Brinstarian corridor with the water and the yapping maws and the ripper shaft, but hey, at least there’s Crocomire time. And most people get the irresistible urge to go hunting for even more previously inaccessible stuff, but you can immediately get right out of town and head back to the surface so you can explore the haunted Wrecked Ship.

But right before you go, you pause the game. Way down at the bottom of the map of Norfair, in a little room revealed to you by the map console behind a yellow-shielded door, you can see Ridley’s mug. Taunting you. Yes, literally speaking to you. And you know what he says? He’s saying, “hope you’re not tired of that damn shaft in Brinstar, because you ain’t seen the last of it!” Maybe you chuckle nervously. He can’t be serious? You’ve got to go back to whup his pirate tail at some point, but surely the exploded Maridian passage will take its place.

Well, how did you think you were going to get out of Norfair right now, Samus? Not to mention that it’s still faster than swimming your way back topside after you’ve dealt with Lower Norfair and want to go catch up with Mother Brain in Tourian.

On reflection, I guess I never really hated Norfair at all. Sure, it’s kind of tucked away at the wrong end of Zebes, but that’s not really its fault. It’s Brinstar’s fault for not having enough ways in and out. One lousy elevator way down at the far end is hardly acceptable, especially from an area that’s clearly prone to fire alarms. Man, I hate Brinstar.

Tags: Super Metroid

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 at 1433:32 and is filed under Diversionary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.